Everyone enjoys the holidays, and we here at the Saturni are no exception!

Donkey Christmas Card
In honor of the current festive season, we went through our archives to document some happy Saturnic memories!


Can we ever forget the year we boiled up Uncle Fred?

Bird Cook Christmas Card

Or the time we sicced Bobby’s pet emu on Cousin Pearl?

Emu Christmas Card


Miss Dalrymple was delicious cooked over a spit!

Pigman Christmas Card

And Great-Aunt Margaret was a show-stopper in the Baked Alaska!

Snowman Christmas Card

Some of our dishes had to coaxed into participating…

Teapot Christmas Card

But snarky Uncle Mike held their feet to the fire…

Saucepan Christmas Card

And Fluffy kept them all in line…

Gun Dog Christmas Card

Until we’d all eaten our fill!

Clown Christmas Card

So this year, although you may fear becoming the victim of random violence…

Frog Christmas Card


Wasp Christmas Card


Just remember, eventually, EVERYTHING DIES (except US!!!)

Dead Bird Christmas Card

So have fun, and we look forward to seeing more of you in the new year!

Scallops Christmas Card



Extremism in the pursuit of pleasure is no vice.

-Jack Benway


The ostrich hides his head in the sand the better to let you bite him in the ass.

-A. P. Bowman


 I want what I want and I want it now.  You mean this great big world doesn’t revolve around me?

-Social Distortion


There looms, within abjection, one of those violent, dark revolts of being, directed against a threat that seems to emanate from…outside or inside, ejected beyond the scope of the possible.

-Julia Kristeva


 Why so serious?

-the Joker


 Civilization is the process of setting man free from men.

-Ayn Rand


Those who seek absolute power, even though they seek it to do what they regard as good, are simply demanding the right to enforce their own version of heaven on earth.  And let me remind you, they are the very ones who always create the most hellish tyrannies.

-Barry Goldwater


 Social order at the expense of liberty is hardly a bargain.

-Marquis de Sade


That is not dead which can eternal lie,  And with strange aeons even death may die.

-the Necronomicon


 Children shouldn’t play with dead things.

-Bob Clark


 Almost nobody dances sober, unless they happen to be insane.

-H. P. Lovecraft


 Either kill me or take me as I am, because I’ll be damned if I’ll ever change.

-Father Ignatius Ragoczy


They’re already here, you probably pass a few of them by in the street every day, or at work, or at your family dinner table — they won’t be satisfied until they have eaten, EATEN, every living thing on earth.

– Lloyd Fonvielle


American soldiers must be turned into lambs and eating them is tolerated.

-Muammar Quaddafi


 My goal is to cut government in half in twenty-five years, to get it down to the size where we can drown it in the bathtub.  And then eat it.

-Grover Norquist

Written on April 1st, 2012

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